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The Silent Language of Leadership
February 29, 2008
Words often have little to do with the most important things you say to colleagues at work, or potential customers at the bargaining table.
By Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D.
The chief executive officer of an oil company showed up at a refinery in a designer suit and tie to discuss the firm's affairs with rank-and-file operators, electricians, and members of the warehouse staff—dressed in their blue, fire-retardant overalls.
After being introduced, and walking carefully to the front of the room, he removed his wristwatch (let's call it a Rolex) and quite visibly placed it on the lectern. The unspoken message: "I'm a very important man, I don't like coming into dirty places like this, and I have exactly 20 minutes to spend with you."That message was, you understand, quite different from the words he used to begin his comments: "I'm happy to be with you today."
Which do you think those refinery workers believed? The CEO's spoken words, or what his body language said?
The Unspoken is Loud and Clear
We continue to find out more and more about how body language affects the messages we send. Consider, for example, the fields of psychology, neurobiology, criminology, and sociology. We don't normally associate them with advances in communication research, but evidence from these fields has given non-verbal communication scientific credence. Evolutionary psychology research has found our brains are "hard-wired" to respond to non-verbal signals—even though most of us aren't consciously aware of the process.
A classic study by Dr. Albert Mehrabian at UCLA reveals only 7 percent of the total impact of a message can be attributed to the words used. Much more important are facial expressions (responsible for 55 percent of the total impact of the message), tone of voice (38 percent), and other forms of body language.
Obviously, you can't watch a person speaking in a foreign language, and understand 93 percent of what is being communicated. Mehrabian was only studying the communication of feelings—particularly, the feelings of liking and disliking. But you can bet when verbal and non-verbal channels of communication are out of sync, most people (those refinery workers, for example) tend to rely on the non-verbal message, and disregard the verbal content.
All leaders express enthusiasm, warmth, and confidence —as well as arrogance, indifference, and displeasure through facial expressions, gestures, touch, and use of space. If an executive wants to be perceived as credible and forthright, he or she has to think "outside the speech," and recognize the importance of non-verbal communication.
It is especially crucial for leaders to communicate congruently—that is, to align the spoken word with body language that supports (instead of sabotages) an intended message. When non-verbal messages conflict with verbal messages, the people you are talking to become confused. Mixed signals have a negative effect on performance, and make it almost impossible to build relationships of trust.
When a leader stands in front of a thousand employees and talks about how much he welcomes their input, the message gets derailed if that executive hides behind a lectern, or leans back away from his audience, or puts his hands behind his back, or shoves them in his pockets, or folds his arms across his chest. All of those send closed non-verbal signals--when the intended message is really about openness.
Then there is the matter of timing. If a leader's gestures are produced before, or as the words come out, she appears open and candid. However, if she speaks first, and then gestures (as I have seen many executives do) it's perceived as a contrived movement. At that point, the validity of whatever is said comes under suspicion.
Non-verbal communication also plays a critical role ensuring the workforce truly receives and understands key messages. If a leader is going to talk about new initiatives, major change, strategic opportunities, or if he or she has to deliver bad news, my advice is to do so in person. Research on employee communications presents one consistent conclusion: face-to-face communications is the employee's medium of choice. This is because in face-to-face encounters, our brains process a continual cascade of non-verbal cues that we use to build trust and professional intimacy—both of which are critical to high-level collaboration, persuasion, and communication.
If they can't see their leader in person, employees want to view the next best thing. Consider the case of one Fortune 25 company, in which teleconferences provided an opportunity for small groups of employees to get up close and personal with the CEO. Time after time, employees would ask about policies, or pending organizational changes that had already been communicated in company publications, and through dozens of email announcements. After the meetings, the beleaguered CEO would ask his communications manager, "How many times have we told them about that? Why don't they know that?"
"Oh, they know it," the communications manager would reply. "They just want to hear it from you. More importantly, they want to be able to look at you when you say it."
Getting out from behind the lectern, fully facing the audience, making eye contact, keeping your movements relaxed and natural, standing tall, using open arm gestures, showing the palms of your hands—all are silent signals of credibility and candor. A good coach can help you find the gestures and facial expressions that are most congruent with the messages you want to convey.
Emotion Speaks Softly
Body language, however, is more than a set of techniques. It also is a reflection of a person's internal state. In fact, the more someone tries to control emotions, the more likely they will leak out non-verbally.
A corporate communicator who brought me into her company to coach an executive warned me he was a "pretty crummy speaker." After watching him at a leadership conference, I was in total agreement. It wasn't his words—they were carefully chosen and well rehearsed. It was, rather, how he looked when he spoke. Mechanical in his gestures, this man's body screamed: "I'm uncomfortable and unconvinced about everything I'm saying!"
Could I help? Not much. Oh sure, I could find ways to make his movements less wooden, and his timing more fluid. But if a person doesn't care about (or believe in) what he’s saying, his gestures automatically become lethargic and restricted. What the executive needed most was genuine enthusiasm and passion about the company's new strategic direction. Because what employee audiences saw when this business leader spoke was exactly how he really felt!
Of course learning to align body language with verbal messages is only one side of the non-verbal coin. The other side—and here is where leaders can set themselves apart—is the ability to accurately read the non-verbal signals employees and team members display.
Peter Drucker, the renowned author, professor, and management consultant, understood this. "The most important thing in communication," he once said, "is hearing what isn't said."
Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is an executive coach, author, and keynote speaker who addresses association, government, and business audiences around the world. Her latest book and program topic is The Nonverbal Advantage - Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work. For more information, contact Carol by phone: 510-526-1727, e-mail: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her websites: www.CKG.com and www.NonverbalAdvantage.com.
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